My Cheating Heart

When (if ever) is it okay to cheat?

It’s okay to cheat if you are sure you’ll get away with it and no one will ever find out, especially and in particular, your mother.

I cheat at solitaire.  And scrabble.  And if it wasn’t for the internet ‘cheats’ for Angry Birds Rio I’d have discovered way fewer golden bananas. As it is I only have seven out of fifteen.  Obviously I’m not cheating hard enough.

It’s okay to cheat death.  And cheat like a mad thing when playing the card game Cheat.  Cheating a cheater is fair game too.  And cheating on your diet if you’re reasonably sure the guilt won’t kill you.

Somebody told me once that every good rule has an exception.  Otherwise it’s just not a very good rule.  So if you follow ALL of the rules MOST of the time, it’s pretty easy to avoid detection if you break one or two small ones here and there.  Because you’re normally such a goody two shoes that no one would ever suspect you of being a devious little shit.

It’s not okay to cheat if you’ve made a solemn promise.  Unless you had your fingers crossed behind your back.  And it’s really not okay to cheat if it’s going to seriously hurt someone else.

But if you’re cheating just because you want to win at any cost, I say go for it.  Bend the rules.  Beat the system.  Find a way.

But keep your mother completely in the dark about it.  I really cannot emphasize that enough.