Tag Archives: seniors

A Fork Tale

Daily Prompt: 

Write a post about anything you’d like, but be sure to include this sentence somewhere in the final paragraph:

“He tried to hit me with a forklift!”

***********

Clifton Carmichael is a dutiful son.  He goes to visit his 89-year-old mother in the seniors residence every day and patiently listens to all her complaints.angry

The food is terrible here.  Everything is mush.  The coffee is like dishwater.  And those caregivers!  Why do they always mumble and never speak up.? And they don’t listen either.  I tried to tell them that some of my best articles of clothing have been lost by the facility laundry.  Anybody could be wearing my things!  I wanted to keep a look out for them but someone has gone off with my good glasses too.  I don’t think I’m wrong to strongly suspect that old coot, Ernie.  You remember Ernie?  They’ve forced me to share a table with him in the dining room and he is downright cantankerous and extremely unpleasant.  I have no idea why.  I try to be nice, I surely do, but I do not like him, not one little bit.  Why, just the other day he rudely disrupted dinner by waving his cutlery around at me in a very menacing manner.  Clifton, are you listening to me? 

Hmmm…?  Of course mother.  Ernie.  Are you getting along any better with Ernie now?

He tried to hit me with a fork, Clift!

A forklift?  Mama, don’t be ridiculous.  And don’t fret, nobody could get a forklift past the security doors.

A fork, Clift.  FORK!  FORK!  FORK!

Mother,  please!  Shush – such language!  You’ve imagined the forklift.  I’ll get the nurse to give you something to calm your nerves.

Get her to give something to that Fork King, Ernie, why don’t you? He’s the villainous silverware fiend!  Oh, never mind.  Nobody listens to me.  Go home Clifton.  I can look after myself.

Yes. Yes, alright.  I do believe you can.

Clifton Carmichael sighs as he gets up and kisses the top of his mother’s silver head.  Forklifts in the dining room.  Good God, he thinks as he bids her goodbye, what next?

Ode to Ovaltine

cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and co...
cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and cocoa powder (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Look at me!  Blogging twice in the same month!

Yesterday at Save On Foods I walked down the coffee aisle – not because I needed coffee but simply because I like how it smells there.  They have those big plastic bin dispensers with flavoured coffee in them.  Vanilla, hazelnut,  irish cream, raspberry chocolate.  Heaven.  And I’m just so happy to be able to smell things again!  A couple of weeks ago I was grinding my Starbucks coffee beans and I could not smell anything at all.  I practically stuck my face in the bag, and still nothing.  It was a sad moment.   But yesterday I had one of those blissful moments when I looked up across the top shelf  scanning the hot chocolate powders and there was Ovaltine.   OVALTINE!  I can’t remember when I last saw that sold anywhere.  Plain and chocolate.  Be still my heart.  I bought a huge jar of the chocolate one.

Mom and Dad used to drink ovaltine all the time, mostly because they were never coffee or tea drinkers,  and because sometimes it’s just nice to have a mug of something hot that’s not too sweet and actually has some stuff in it that’s good for you.  And it looks better than sipping plain hot milk like an extremely old person might do.  Ha.  As if Ovaltine isn’t the official drink of seniors.  They also used to drink Postum – a powdered roasted grain beverage coffee substitute containing no caffeine – and yes, it tasted pretty disgusting – but they don’t make it anymore.  Some old guy in Wal-Mart asked me one day if I knew where he could find it, and when I broke the news to him he looked quite stricken.  I should have told him about my dad’s hot chocolate.  He would put the kettle on to boil, drop maybe a quarter teaspoon of powdered chocolate drink mix (the kind you are supposed to mix whole heaping spoonfuls of the powder with cold milk) into a big mug and fill it up with water that had not yet come to a boil.  Because there’s no point in making it too hot to drink right away.  The last few times I stayed with them in the house in Pt Elgin he always  invited me in the evenings to join him for his ‘hot chocolate’  with cookies good for dunking.  I always did.  The dunked cookies gave the vaguely chocolate flavoured tepid water a bit of flavour.  Not as good as Postum, but damned close.

A jar of Ovaltine from the UK (2006), a mug of...
A jar of Ovaltine from the UK (2006), a mug of ovaltine made with hot milk and a tablespoon of the powder. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ovaltine has the taste of malt and grain (yech); but it’s also the taste of cozy warmth and contentment.  It’s a creature comfort.  It conjures up a lovely memory.   Besides, I drink way too much coffee and the extra milk will be good for these old bones.