Sharing My World 78

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There were no new world sharing questions this week.  Normally this would not be a big deal for me since I am generally clueless about stuff like what day of the week it is at the best of times, and it could be construed as surprising that I even noticed.  But I did.  And consequently I’ve had some remorse about my silence.  I needed my question-answering fix for the week.

So I searched the internet for some random questions that didn’t hurt my brain.  I hope my answers won’t hurt yours too much.

Are you the person now you thought you’d be when you were little?

When I was little I never once imagined myself as anyone’s grandma, that’s for sure.

Now that the grandma thing is happening I realize that all grandmas have a finite number of stories to tell and they just keep on telling them because what the hell else do they have to do?  So if you’ve heard this one before, too bad.  I’m old and I don’t care.

When a teacher asked us to paint a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, I imagined myself as a brilliant and beautiful blonde singer on the Ed Sullivan Show.  Sadly in real life I had extreme stage fright, a less than stellar singing voice, and what I considered totally the wrong face for blonde hair.  “Brilliant” and  “beautiful” on their own alas turned out to be insufficient traits for this particular ambition.  Plus Ed died before I could get my shit together.

I guess none of it was meant to be.  But the childhood friends who laughed at me when I shared this dream will forever live in my memory as little jerks.  I knew myself it was not realistic, but could you not have humoured me for five minutes?

Have you ever had your heart-broken?  Have you ever broken someone else’s heart?

Heartbreak is such a subjective thing.  Little things break your heart when you’re little, like when your brother pulls the head off your doll and demands money from you for revealing its current whereabouts.  It’s all about loss, and the losses get progressively bigger and more serious as you grow up.  You lose a good friend, you break up with a boyfriend, you have to abandon an unrealistic dream.  But wait, life has way more heartbreaking stuff to throw at you. A lover moves on and leaves you grieving for what might have been, opportunities disappear, a grandparent dies.  Then you lose your parents and a sibling and you wonder what you were so upset about before those things happened.  And then you wonder how much more breaking your heart can actually take.  Or if it will eventually get so hard and calloused that it just rolls with the punches, because you know those hard knocks aren’t going to stop.

If I’ve caused a broken heart I am truly sorry.  But I believe,  because I can’t think of a specific instance off the top of my head of ever doing it deliberately to anyone,  that maybe it hasn’t happened a lot.  Huh. Well, no doubt there’s still time.

When you think of home, what comes to mind?

After W and I first got married we both thought of where we grew up as home.  As in ‘let’s go home for Christmas.’  It took a long time for us to refer to wherever the two of us currently lived together as our REAL home.  Having kids helped with that because it was their home.  Is that weird or normal?  I seem to ask myself that question a lot and rarely know the answer and probably won’t believe yours anyway, so just ignore that bit.

Now I think you just take home with you wherever you go.  It’s a feeling, more than a place. A sense of peace and love and being safe from harm.  It can be as big as a country or as small as a backyard.  And the people who have broken my heart by leaving were simply on their way home.  I need to suck it up and be thankful I got to walk beside them and share so many small parts of their journey.

Name one of your greatest strengths, and one of your greatest weaknesses.

Adaptation is a big strength.  Because everything changes.  Everything!   Might as well get used to it.

Worry is my most crippling weakness, not to mention a royal pain.  Sometimes when something I’ve been fretting about finally happens it’s a colossal relief because then I can just move on and adapt to it.  And yeah, that one is definitely weird.

What did life teach you yesterday?

It taught me that many people who want to cut sugar out of their diets still want to pretend they are eating things that contain sugar.  They post sugarless, wheatless, grain free, gluten-free, dairy free, diabetic friendly recipes for brownies and cookies and cheesecake and bread.  Why don’t you weirdos just stop eating cupcakes and chocolate mousse and bogus donut shaped things that no one in their right mind can be fooled into believing are bagels?  It won’t kill you to cut desserts out of your diet and just eat a completely un-messed with banana or something.

I’m sorry but “bread” made with sixteen eggs and almond flour is not even remotely close to being bread-like.  Do you really need toast that smells like burnt eggs?  I know I can live without it.

I can also live without eating shortbread and butter tarts although I made them both for W because it’s Christmas and I didn’t want him moping around whining about missing them.  Believe me, no one wants that.  I did not attempt to make a pastry-less, raisin and nutless,  no brown sugar, no corn syrup, butter-substitute loaded tart although I’m sure someone in the world has tried it and will be posting the godforsaken recipe on Facebook shortly.  Do not fall for it.  Some things are meant to be coma inducing sugar bombs and we should just accept that and let them be.

Deep down, who are you really?

Well if all this didn’t give you at least a couple of clues and an ill- informed opinion, I don’t know what to say.

I’m pretty ordinary as humans go.  I guess deep down I’m my mothers daughter, least likely person to ever want to break your heart.  My mother did not laugh at my goal to become a famous singer, she simply told me the picture I drew was nice.

It’s not that hard to be kind. We should probably all try it more often.  And if you’re one of those people trying to make the things we eat healthy, I’m sorry I was snarky, and good for you.  My mom tried to make pie shells once with whole wheat flour.  They were disgusting, but we all knew her heart was in the right place.

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Sharing My World 77

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Share Your World – December 4, 2017

What household chore do you absolutely hate doing?

I half-assed hate all of them.  Vacuuming (and sweeping and washing and polishing) floors is brutally hard on my back.  And even when it isn’t I will complain that it is.  Cleaning bathrooms is puke inducing.  Laundry is just an annoying pain in the ass.  I guess it’s ass day here at Breathing Space headquarters.  Sorry.

Okay, if I absolutely hate it, it’s probably something I never do, like washing walls or cleaning blinds.  It’s insane to ever do something you absolutely hate doing.  Nothing insane about me!  My daughter dusts my blinds.  It’s just one of the many reasons why I love her.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Right after I retired and really, ever since to some degree.  Except I’ve calmed down a tad lately and no longer wake up every morning screaming in my brain OMFG I DONT HAVE TO GO TO WORK TODAY OR TOMORROW OR ANY OTHER DAY EVER UNTIL I DIE!  And not even after that, as far as I know.  I guess going to work was a chore of which I was less than fond.  Not that my job was horrible, it’s just that being the boss of my own time is infinitely better.  I certainly roll my eyes a lot less.

I have passionately pursued my art and redecorating and decluttering since retiring.  Along with sleeping in.  That is a popular one.  Now I believe I’m in a transition phase, although I have no clear vision of where I’m transitioning to.  Hopefully it’s not permanent couch potato status.

How many times have you moved in the last ten years?

Zero.  We are stuck in a house bound rut.  I just counted on my fingers sixteen different places I’ve lived, but don’t quote me on that because my math skills are less than stellar.  Our next move, should we choose to get off our asses and make one, will be to something smaller with no stairs and minimal yard work.  Preferably self-cleaning.  My mother-in-law, in her nineties, still lives in the two-story, laundry-in-the-basement home W grew up in.  I don’t know whether I should call that amazing or just down-right dangerously nuts.  Well actually I do know, but I try to be polite and mind my own business most of the time.

I hope we both are smart enough to know when it’s time to down size and simplify and give up doing things like cleaning out eaves troughs and trimming trees and driving vehicles and operating machinery and going up and down stairs and cooking eight course gourmet meals.  (Already ditched that last one, if it’s possible to ditch something you’ve never actually done before in your life).

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

I love that my grandchildren are growing up and heading ever closer to adulthood and even though every one of them faces difficulties and issues and growing pains, it’s okay.  Because I’m not the one who has to deal with it.  Haha.  Yeah.  That IS a selfish bad grandma attitude despite the fact that of course I’m here if I’m ever asked for help or advice, but I’m also perfectly happy to stay out of it.  Our parents had confidence in us to deal with our kids without interference and I have the same confidence in mine.  So the inspiration for that little rant came from a weekend visit and conversations with my son and with my daughter-in-law.  Yes, kids, we talk about you when you’re not around, but you are in good hands.  Just don’t be assholes.

I’m running out of ways to incorporate the ass word in this revealing share, so I see no point in going on.  Plus I’ve taken the “sitting still” thing to its maximum limit for today.  Oh, who am I kidding.  There is no agreed upon limit for that.

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Sharing My World 76

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Somewhere north of Lake Superior on our road trip heading home taken through the car windshield en route because yes I am exactly that lazy.

Well look what I just retrieved from various places in the drafts folder.  Proof of my good intentions.  And other not so admirable traits.

Share Your World – August 14, 2017

When you leave a room, do you turn the lights off behind you or keep the lights on throughout your house most of the time?

When I’m home alone there are a lot of lights on everywhere, upstairs and down.  Probably because there’s no one following me around turning them off.  So I guess that answers that question.

What do you feel is the most enjoyable way to spend $500?

Because of some unexpected expenses this year, the unnecessary expenditures have been put on hold.  And those are always the most enjoyable kind, aren’t they?  Three people in the last little while have asked me, while browsing through my “library”, if I have any new books on my shelves.  It feels a little alarming to me to have to say that I don’t.  Buying real honest to goodness in your hand page turning books is the best way I know to spend time and money.  Because omg, look what you bring home.  Hours and hours of awesomeness.

I’m still doing lots of reading.  Every day I download one or two free e-books from Amazon.  There have been some real doozies but there have also been a few gems.  I wonder if I’ve missed my calling as a fiction editor.  I like the idea of someone else doing all the thinking and then I just improve the way the story is told.  I do a lot of skipping over the dreadful parts.

Complete this sentence: My favorite thing to do on my cell phone is…

Well first off I have to find the damned thing.  If I’ve left the sound turned on it makes that part easier.  I check for missed calls and text messages, making a mental note of how long ago they happened.  Sometimes I’m so on the ball answering a text it must truly startle the recipient, since my normal response is hours later.  I’m working on this, I promise, trying to carry my phone around with me from room to room, but doing that is also the reason I misplace it so often.  It could be anywhere.  It’s rarely used for phone calls because we still cling to our land line.  And I never use it for game playing because the screen is too small.  It’s always with me when I leave home, even for a walk, because what if I broke my ankle or got lost or needed to take a picture of the inside of my pocket?  Best to be prepared for these things.

Share Your World – October 9, 2017

What do you consider is the most perfect food for you? (It can be your favorite food to something extremely healthy.)

Once upon a time it was rich, dark, chocolate ice cream with drizzled chocolate syrup. Then unfortunately I grew up.

The perfect food for me now that I am old and boring is low in carbs, low in sugar, high in protein and essential vitamins and minerals and fibre and all that other good stuff, tastes fantastic, and a small portion completely satisfies my hunger. If you have any idea what that food is, please let me (and the rest of the world) know so we can all feel less despondent about leaving chocolate ice cream behind.

Meanwhile I will continue to struggle with my choices. However, I have to tell you I’m astounded lately by my consistently low glucose readings so I must be doing something right. Even though I continue to periodically give in to a craving for salty crap like potato chips.

Are you focused on today or tomorrow?

Today, this moment in time. Well that would be ideal, wouldn’t it? Never dwelling on the past, never fretting about the future. Never craving potato chips.

If you could interview one of your great-great-great grandparents, who would it be (if you know their name) and what would you ask?

My great-great-great grandparents on my dad’s side of the family were probably messing about somewhere in Scotland in the late 1700’s. Pure conjecture on my part since I’ve never researched anyone so far back. They could have come from anywhere and changed their identities for all I know. Since they are all dead I think I might be inclined to ask them what they’re up to now.  Or perhaps more realistically, what they were up to then.

What inspired you this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

My lack of participation in the big world of blogging should be your first clue that I have been largely uninspired lately by anything at all.

 

Okay, so that ended on a bit of a low note! Must have been a bad news week.  Ever leave something in your draft files so long (because it’s not good enough to publish) that when you finally get around to cleaning them up, some of it really doesn’t sound as blah as you thought it did originally?  But as for the rest of it, the “delete” button is your friend?  I’m down to seven drafts, so on a desperate day any one of them could surface.  Apologizing in advance.

 

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Sharing My World 75

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Share Your World – November 27, 2017

Yes, it’s really me, back in this empty echoing wasteland of neglect.  I have had good intentions for almost three months but we all know what road is paved with those useless things.  It seems every time I wake up feeling like today is the day for writing something, some terrible thing happens somewhere in the world, and sometimes close to home, and then I just don’t feel like it anymore.  Because I might have to think and talk about it and be all serious for a minute.  Gah.  Who wants that.

We had a good trip east and a great visit with family and friends and I guess I got thoroughly into relax mode and have had a hard time getting out.  There are worse places to be.  Anyway, my world!  Sharing!  Ready or not!

Would you prefer a reading nook or an art, craft, photography studio?

I have an art and craft “space” but it’s beside my off white bed spread and surrounded by newly painted pelican grey walls, so messy splattering is not allowed.  Puts a bit of a damper on wildly reckless creativity.  So a studio would be nice.

A reading nook would also be super, but really you can throw one of those together anywhere there’s a comfy chair or something big enough to recline on.  I do most of my reading in bed to ensure that my dreams are totally bizarre.  If it’s a real book I read until it drops and hits me in the face, and if it’s my kindle, until my eyes burn and refuse to stay open.  So apparently in my world, reading also leads to losing consciousness.

Tell how you are feeling today in the form of a weather report. (For example, partly cloudy, sunny with a chance for showers, etc.)

Foggy with a chance of more fog, but watch for intermittent extremely sunny breaks.  They’ve been known to happen.  If there’s rain it will be gentle, warm and soothing. And it won’t freeze.  Freezing rain is also not allowed.  It should be banned everywhere actually.  Along with all other annoying dangerous shit.  Feel free to mention names if you want.  And add a bit of thunder.

If you could witness or physically attend any event past, present or future, what would it be?

The wedding (or alternatively the spectacular break up, although I’m certainly not predicting or anticipating that) of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.  Don’t want to physically be there for any of it,  but not being a witness to it all seems impossible.  Unless we’re all suddenly struck deaf and blind.  Might as well wish for something that’s likely to happen.  And if you ever complain about issues with your in-laws, just think of Meghan Markle and what she has to contend with and you’ll feel a lot better about your own comparatively boring situation.

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Obviously I am very inspired by Savage Chickens. on a daily basis because I subscribed to get emails.  I highly recommend it.

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Sharing My World 74

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Share Your World – September 4, 2017

What color do you feel most comfortable wearing?

Did you know, when it comes to clothing, there are many different shades of black?  I’m pretty sure I own a sample of every one of them.  It is possible for black pants and a black top to not match.  But frankly I don’t care.  My closet is a black hole.  For variety I might throw on a dark blue or dark purple jacket or sweater, and sometimes my shoes have splotches of colourful wildness, but black is for sure my fade-into-the-background comfort colour.  My sister has tried to steer me away from racks of black in clothing stores but for me their magnetism is strong.  “Oooh, I like this!  Does it come in black?”  (Sister fakes shooting self in head)

What is your favorite type of dog? (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

Well behaved dogs belonging to other people are my absolute favourite.  German Shepherd and Jack Russel come to mind.  I also have a little stuffed Starbucks dog on a bookshelf somewhere that I quite like.  He doesn’t shed.  Or bark or drool.  Or need to go out to the backyard to pee in the middle of the night.  I’m just imagining worst case scenarios so I’ll be less tempted while looking at pictures of adorable dogs that need adopting.

List at least five favorite flowers or plants.

Tomato plants (they smell amazing), sun flowers, daisies and Black-eyed Susans,  strawberry plants, lilac bushes.  What is wrong with me, I don’t have any of those!  I have had great success with tomato plants but we always get early frosts here and all the fussing with them in the fall is stressful.  Yes, I am that kind of gardener.  Maybe I’ll try some again next year since I’ve had several seasons break from it.  We grew dwarf sunflowers once in front of our house.  I have a picture somewhere to prove it.  They were beautiful and odd-looking  at the same time.  Sunflowers should be gigantic and in fields.

People with green thumbs are admirable.  That gene skipped a generation with me and went straight to my daughter.  I’m sure the ghost of my grandma hovers over her and her plants in a state of blissful ecstasy.

What inspired you this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

That magpie was pretty inspiring.  I took a photo of it on some half dead grass and it rolled its little bird eyes and flew over to a rock amongst some bushes and posed there for me instead.  That was the day W decided to accompany me on my walk but went missing a few blocks into it.  He was admiring some guys front yard and I guess stopped long enough to be noticed and struck up a conversation with him while I just kept walking because I was out for a walk dammit, not gawking at front yards or a chat with some random stranger.  I went all the way to a busy street and doubled back thinking I would meet him continuing on the walk.  But there was no sign of him, so I walked through the park and then back over to the busy street again to see if he might have gone that way, then back through some walkways and back to the exit from the park just in case he was somewhere around there.  Anyway you get the picture, me walking around in circles and W nowhere to be found.  I was home and showered and had breakfast before he finally showed up, all happy that the guy he was talking to took him into his backyard to show off his award-winning landscaping horticulturists dreamscape.  The guy has a guest book so apparently he’s delighted to entertain nosy people and take them on tours.

This is the kind of shit that happens when you marry an extrovert.  You cannot take a normal walk together.  So we haven’t tried that again.  I go walking on quiet residential streets after people have gone to work.  He goes to the busy streets around the mall.  I don’t even like to say hello to people.  He learns six peoples life stories in ten minutes or less.

Next week we are leaving on a four day road trip, from Alberta through Saskatchewan and Manitoba to southwestern Ontario where we will visit family for a couple of weeks before heading back home.  I’m excited about the family part.  He is really excited about the drive.  Weird.

So I might be around here less, although I’m not sure how that is even possible, or I might be so bored driving through places like the prairies that I learn how to use my iPad without getting car sick.  Just so you know to expect the unexpected.  Or the completely predictable.  I will probably be doing some of the driving as well, so when W is hanging out the passenger side window becoming best friends with a service station attendant I can just drive off.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Labour Day weekend.

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Sharing My World 71

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Share Your World – May 15, 2017

How many languages do you speak?

Regrettably, only one.  Although if I truly did regret it, nothing is stopping me from learning to speak another one.  For this to happen I imagine it’s best to have someone fluent in the new language with whom to converse.  Because this person would be able to helpfully correct my pronunciation and grammar after laughing at it.  Thankfully I don’t know anyone like that.

What are you reading, watching, listening to, eating?

I am reading an e-book called “Weightless” by Kandi Steiner.  It’s about eighteen year old Natalie who gets dumped by her boyfriend, decides to hit the gym, and then falls for her personal trainer.  Everybody has issues.  Her friends, her mother, her step dad, her ex and his nasty new girlfriend, her hot trainer and his nasty clients….and she is sorry high school is done and debating what to do next.  And I just want to say “Run, Natalie, run!”  The book was a Kindle daily deal.  Totally worth the money.

I am watching “New Blood”, a BBC detective type series on Netflix.  Season one, episode four, case two, part one.  Not sure why I remember all that and even more confused as to why I feel the need to share it.  Episodes one two and three were case one, parts one two and three.  Maybe I’m just proud of my attention to unimportant details.  I like the main characters and how they end up working together and solving the shit out of stuff.

I am listening to the rain pour down and feeling all smug that I put off starting my walk because of all those menacing dark clouds and thus didn’t get caught in the downpour.

I ate a toasted scrambled egg sandwich on dark European rye bread with ketchup on the side for brunch.  Wow, I am a total detail freak today.

What was the last photo you took with your phone?

There it is at the top of this post.  A piece of cracked sidewalk and some scrubby spring grass.  I was putting my phone back in to my pocket and somehow managed to capture this brilliant moment in time on my walk through one of the alley walk-ways between houses in my neighbourhood yesterday. I hope no one tries to steal this incredible image without my permission.

What is your favorite time of day?

Early morning.  Because coffee.

Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for a lovely quiet weekend on my own doing pretty much nothing out of the ordinary….even though Sunday was Mothers Day and Saturday was my birthday.  My daughter, son, daughter-in-law and oldest granddaughter sent me texts.  THEY ALL KNOW ME SO WELL!  I don’t like a lot of fuss and I love that they get that.  W sent a text on Sunday night saying sorry he missed my birthday and Happy Mother’s Day and here’s what’s going on with ME….

Is it weird that I’m ok with all of this?  Probably.  Oh well, whatever, weird is good too, right?  I love them all and I am loved and nothing else really matters after that.

Okay, the sun is out!  Time to drag myself away from the IPad and onto the cracked streets and walkways and bike paths of my soaking wet world!  Then I can get back to crime season episode part whatever the hell is going on case solving.  Don’t ever say my priorities are screwed up.  They are, but you don’t need to say it.

 

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Sharing My World 70

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It’s a coyote!  (Click photo for source)  This is a cousin of the one I saw running down our street on Sunday morning, all pointy eared and bushy tailed and NOT A DOG.  And still I ventured outside and walked around the neighbourhood.  What the hell, I’ve had a pretty good life.

Share Your World May 8, 2017

When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?

All of the above.  I wear shoes when I am getting ready to go out because I forget something in the house and have to go back in to get it and can’t be bothered to take my shoes off for what will probably be less than five minutes.  Then when I come back from wherever I’ve been I might again leave my shoes on because I forget to take them off.  Being forgetful makes life a lot less boring.  There’s always something new to deal with.

I wear socks when my feet are freezing.  I’ve noticed they are great dust and debris collectors.  When I take them off I wonder how there can continually be that much crap on my floors.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with my outside shoes because I always remove them at the door.  Don’t I?  I am not a big fan of my slippers because they make annoying clomping sounds but they are easier to slip into than gigantic thermal socks.

Barefoot has always been my preference, but the older I get the harder it is to pull that off, and even open toe footwear is getting to be an unwise choice.  Feet don’t get more beautiful with age.  They do get more interesting though.  My right foot has a bunion and both feet are developing claw toes.  My left big toe has an ugly thickening nail.  Mostly I cover them up so they won’t frighten small children.

What was your favorite food when you were a child?

Strangely enough it was a concoction my grandma used to make, consisting of cut yellow beans and small new potatoes in a buttery white sauce.  She made it for us on the rare occasion when mom wasn’t home to cook, so we considered it a real treat.  I have the best memories of how delicious it was and how fast a whole big pot full would disappear.  Tried making it myself as an adult but the results were disappointing.  Could be kids just have weird taste buds.

Are you a listener or a talker?

If we’re friends and visiting one on one I’ll probably talk your face off.  If you’re a talkative stranger in a supermarket check out apparently I have “sympathetic listener” tattooed on my forehead.  If it’s a big group I’m probably saying  very little.  Chances are I’m not listening either.

Favorite thing to (pick one): Photograph? Write? Or Cook?

Well I’ll just give you answers to all three because apparently I don’t understand what “pick one” means.  I like to photograph whatever catches my eye when I’m out walking, not because it necessarily makes for a great photo, but more to prove I was actually outside and away from my own property.

I like to write lists.  Must be my favourite thing to write based on sheer numbers of them started, scratched off, completed, lost, crumpled up, thrown away, stuffed into random pockets and bags.  They are everywhere.  They are supposed to keep me organized.  They are not very good at their job.

Soup is without a doubt my favourite thing to cook because it allows for freedom of expression.  You can toss any number of weird things in there and still have a wide margin for success.  W would not agree with that.  He suffers from chronic soup suspicion.  Yes, that is a real affliction.  He likes to know exactly what he is consuming and with my soups full knowledge is not always possible.  Or even preferable.

Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

My daughter has made some positive changes in her life and I’m grateful to her for inspiring me to make some too.  I haven’t been walking because of a painful knee and fear of making it worse, but on Saturday the two of us (well three of us if you count the dog) got out in the sunshine and took a long stroll.  Here’s the funny thing about that.  The longer I walked the better my knee felt.  So I guess my making-it-worse excuse is total crap.  Damn.

W just sent me a text from Ontario to say he made it to the island safe and sound.  He left early yesterday morning and I am on my own for who knows how long.  Could be a month, could be the whole summer.  So I am REALLY looking forward to the grass growing so that I can cut it.  Haha.  Threw that in there to see if you’re still paying attention.

Soup and walking.  That’s what I meant to say.  Hope I don’t die from all the excitement.  Although that would beat being eaten by a coyote I guess.

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