Ready For My Close Up

In the final scene Norma Desmond (Gloria Swans...

In the final scene Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) says, “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up,” before appearing to reach into the camera and dissolving into the light. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Prompts for the Promptless

“A total Monet” is an expression used to describe someone or something that looks good from far away, but up close is a total mess.

  • This expression comes from the movie, Clueless.
  • It refers to the impressionistic styling of Claude Monet

Ha!  This reminds me of the funny phrase “When you are baroque, you are out of Monet”.  And maybe that means you’re also a total mess, but wow, two sentences in and I’m already kind of off topic. But I do have a couple of things to talk about that look good from far away and not so great up close.  One is eyeballs and the other is my face.

irisEvery day I look at eyeballs with a slit lamp, which consists of high magnification and an intensely bright light. It’s not designed to make you go blind, only to make you wish that you were, at least temporarily,  because that light can be painful.   I have seem some gross and disgusting deposits on contact lenses, some unhealthy corneas, and some incredibly scary globs of makeup.

Guys tend to have fewer contact lens complications simply because they don’t slather on the eyeliner and rarely get sparkly bits of eyeshadow floating around in their tears.  But they are not immune.  I have also seen some incredibly interesting iris patterns, although that’s not what I’m supposed to be looking at.  But really, you can’t spend your entire day looking  at scleral injection and blood vessels without your mind starting to wander.

So looking deep into people’s eyes is part of my job, but looking at my face in a 10X magnifying mirror is something I do at home for my own entertainment.  And by entertainment, I mean the same kind you expect to get from watching a horror movie.  So, not everyone’s idea of fun.

I used to think my skin looked pretty good for a person my age.  You know, from across a candle lit room, for instance.  But magnified ten times in a well-lit bathroom, it’s down right frightening.

Kaqchikel Mayan woman; Panajachel, Guatemala

Kaqchikel Mayan woman; Panajachel, Guatemala (Photo credit: xopherlance)

There are pores around my nose the size of craters.  On my chin are random single hairs of various colors, the most disturbing being white, since those are the hardest to see and thus the most likely to grow long before being detected and plucked.  There are fine lines on my upper lip.  Too many to count, actually, but 50 seems a reasonable estimate.  There are strange bumps here and there, small patches of flaky dry skin, and a few splotches of discoloration.  I know they’re age spots, but I don’t want to call them by that name.  Let’s just say they’re over sized freckles.  Then there are the wrinkle patches around my eyes that look like road maps gone mad.

I also have single eyebrow hairs that want to grow up, down, or sideways in the wrong direction.  And mustache hairs!

Seriously, I can’t go on, this is making me too depressed.  Since Doctors are always telling us to keep an eye on our skin for any changes, I thought the magnifying mirror would be a great thing to have as my skin ages and my eyesight deteriorates.  Now I see there’s method to the madness of our vision becoming less sharp as we get older so that we won’t notice how deeply etched the laugh lines have become. They’re not all that funny as it turns out.

Aging gracefully can be a challenge, so I just try to remember that every person is a unique work of art.  Some of us have matured to the Monet stage where our beauty is simply more apparent when viewed from afar.

Claude Monet - Pêches

Claude Monet – Pêches (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5 Things I’m Looking Forward to This Week

Tassimo T-Discs, assortment

Tassimo T-Discs, assortment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Coconuts (Photo credit: randomlife)

Smelling like coconut lime.
Not sure why that made top of the list. Surely to God there’s something more exciting in my life than having picked up a big tube of lotion yesterday while grocery shopping. Don’t worry, something is bound to come to me. The coconut lime won out by THIS much over pink grapefruit. It was a tough decision, and now I’ve resigned myself to living with the results of that choice.

Letting my skin breathe.
Well, the skin that’s not covered in coconut lime, at least. And the skin on my face is soaking up the atmosphere as we speak. No work means no make-up for me, and this is the start of my six weeks away from work. WOOHOOHOO!! Yep, my skin and I are uber thrilled.

Having sit down breakfasts with my husband of 39 years.
Our anniversary was yesterday. Almost 4 decades with the same man! That should be some kind of indication of my resolve when it comes to sticking with choices, no matter how bizarre they may be. We went out for dinner and had an argument about what the weather was like 39 years ago. It was not snowing, it was freezing rain. It’s amazing to me the drastically important things he can’t remember. So now we can have some leisurely breakfasts together and I’ll see how much of our personal history I can alter before he catches on that I’m just making shit up.

Drinking Tassimo coffee numerous times a day.
Whoever invented the Tassimo, if he’s not a millionaire already, he should be. Another one of my dubious impulse buys, but I seriously love that thing. It is SO deliciously lovely to brew one perfect cup of coffee whenever the mood strikes me. Espresso, cappuccino, au lait, crema, breakfast blend, Columbian, suchard hot chocolate….be still my heart. Well, like that’s gonna happen with all that caffeine.

Getting my Christmas Shopping done before December 6th.
Won’t that be amazing! And no, I haven’t started yet, but I have complete confidence in myself. On the 6th I’m flying up to ‘the ranch’ to spend time with my daughter-in-law and four of my grandchildren, all the way to Christmas. She actually asked me to come! How’s that for a hard to believe mother-in-law story. The rest of the family will fly or drive up closer to Christmas, so I have to get the gifts ready for my spouse to bring with him. I also have to train him in the art of caring for a fish, and will say my goodbyes to Phinaeus before I leave, just in case.

Huh – I guess that’s 5 things, so that’s it. Coffee anyone? It’s not like I have to get to sleep and be anywhere important first thing in the morning. Oh yeah, except for the breakfast thing. Smelling like a coconut. It’s going to be a great week.

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