1. Your bra. You know the one I’m talking about.
2. All notes and letters in your possession containing dangerous secrets. It’s faster and more effective than eating them.
3. Your mortgage, once it’s paid.
4. Zombies. I don’t know about this one from personal experience, but it sounds like good advice to me.
5. The rain, if your name is Adele.
6. Those incense sticks and the aromatic decorative candles that are just sitting around collecting dust.
7. Your imagination.
8. Your passion.
9. Someones heart.
10. The world.
For numbers seven through ten, don’t use real matches. But do say something cool like ‘burn, baby, burn.”
Does anyone burn autumn leaves anymore? We pay yard people to clean them up and cart them away. We used to rake them up and put them in clear plastic bags to be picked up and composted. Well, I never did any raking, W did it all. I’m very opposed to the whole idea, feeling strongly that leaves are meant to cover the grass and protect it from the ravishments of winter. And then we can all be doubly annoyed with them in the spring. Plus raking is hard work and I’ve never been a strong advocate of that, ever.
I remember when we were kids jumping into a gigantic pile of leaves and then having to clean up the mess all over again so we could light them on fire. The smell of burning, smouldering leaves is something so wound up in the whole concept of fall that it’s hard to think proper autumn thoughts without it.
But I guess there’s enough things being set on fire these days. No need for any more smoke getting in our eyes.