How Do I Love Thee January?

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Let me count the ways.  A list of all the good things about this winter month from hell.

  1. There aren’t any.
  2. Just kidding, there’s got to be something.
  3. Penguin Awareness Day is coming up on the 20th (and Squirrel Appreciation Day on the 21st).  (You can find more weird days to observe and celebrate here). If you would like to ignore the U.S. presidential inauguration there are obviously many more important and worthwhile things happening this month on which to redirect your time and attention.
  4. Daylight is increasing by leaps and bounds.  Or minutes if you want to be realistic.
  5. A week and 2/7ths of this month are over already. Yay!
  6. Many people richer and smarter than I am are leaving Canada and going south to get warmed up.  This means they can feel all smug about the crappy weather they’re missing and the rest of us will be delighted to accept admiration for our perseverance and stoicism in sticking around and facing the elements. I will also happily accept sympathy and pity.
  7. There are all kinds of sales everywhere this month, and this is a good thing for me because I’m so done with shopping from the previous month I feel no temptation at all to be out there saving money on things I don’t need.
  8. There are at least three good things going on in number seven.  So maybe we can round this up at the end.
  9. The shortbread cookies are almost all gone. I think we may be down to our last dozen.  Finishing them is W’s responsibility and he continues to be up for the challenge.
  10. The list of artists who were approached to perform at the inauguration, and refused,  continues to grow.  Penguin awareness Day is looking better and better.

And now I’m going to sneak in a knee complaint just to let all you knee problem people know how much sincere empathy I have for you after my week of hobbling around swearing.  Holy crap a hurting knee is awful.  The other day I sat down awkwardly and it snapped and crunched and shot excruciating pain to all my extremities at once (I may be exaggerating, but only very slightly, really) and since then it has been getting progressively better.  Not the cure I would necessarily recommend. Sitting around with my leg elevated and straight and having W cook and do laundry for me is my favourite method so far.

Okay!  Back to enjoying this gloriously cold snowy overcast day!  There might not be too many more of them left!  I just rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a headache.

How To Amuse Yourself While Waiting

My November Day Eight
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While waiting this morning at the lab for W to get his blood work done, I saw a poster like this one across the room. The small print was too far away to read, but what would I need to read it for? I am smart and can figure things like this out. Right?

P   Pull something.
A   Agonize over the possibility that you just pulled the wrong thing.
S   Stop pulling random things, you moron!
S   Start running.
Ha! Pretty close, hey?

If you are ever in a burning building with me you will be safe as long as you can run fast.  Beyond that I’m not making any promises.

It’s a rather gloomy overcast day with wet snow and rain and a biting wind.  Perfect for lighting a gingerbread candle and staying the hell indoors.

Hope you’re snug and warm and having a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

A Skiff of Snow


My November Day 2

This morning we woke up to a skiff of snow.  By the time I got around to heading out for my walk, most of it had disappeared.  There were still wet snowflakes in the cold air under a steel grey sky but they melted as they fell.

If you don’t know how much snow constitutes a skiff, here is a skiffy little snow creature to give you an idea of how scaled down your snowman has to be when all you’ve got is a skiff to work with.

image imageI love his pointy head and skinny little twig arms.

I also love that our community has so many bike/walking trails but it’s easy (in my case at this particular point in my life and my new fitness regime) to keep going until I’ve gone too far without thinking about getting back to where I started. Let’s just say I was extremely happy to see my driveway again.

What Did You Say?

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'Actually I asked for a large 'Cola'.'

'You never listen to me, you only hear what you want to hear!'

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Today the weather was blustery and cold and I didn’t feel much like venturing out for my walk. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better and walking outside on the icy sidewalks will soon become treacherous. So today seemed like a good day to switch to plan B and do a fake walk on my mini trampoline. It’s low impact and makes me sweaty and short of breath, so the results are definitely similar. I just switched my weight from one side to the other in a bouncy fashion and then got my arms working as well (and after awhile couldn’t believe how slowly doing that made the clock move….)

Later when W asked me if I had gone for my walk I said “No, I did some dancing on the trampoline”. And he said “You did WHAT on your hands and knees??”

OMG, both of us being half deaf is going to be so much fun.

The Sixth Day of May

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Yesterday on our walk home from voting in the provincial election I took this really bad phone photo of a beautiful tree covered in white blossoms. What happened to those flowers? At least you can see how green everything is. Or was. I will get to that.

Then I look a VIDEO of some yellow and red tulips. You will have to trust me when I tell you they were lovely. But they just stood there doing nothing, so the video was boring and I deleted it. Stupid phone with its little buttons.

The election results last night were surprising, to say the least, but very, very gratifying for the gazillions of people who have voted ‘other than P.C.’ for years and years with no hope in hell of changing anything. And yeah, that would include me. The Conservatives did not even make official opposition, and the NDP party has a majority. We were so over due for a change. Let’s hope it’s a good one.

Well before Christmas last year W took his truck to a guy who does body work to have his rusted fenders and things worked on. Obviously I’m fuzzy on the details. What I do know is that he was told to take his time, keep it as long as he wanted, there was no hurry to get it done. Six months later we finally have the truck back and W can stop driving my car.

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This is our garage yesterday, with a big empty space on the left where the truck parks. W is out driving it somewhere. And there’s my car, barricaded behind many heavy things. It’s so wonderful to have it all to myself again.  What the hell??

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And this! THIS is this morning, taken from my kitchen window, because I’m not going out in THIS. It started snowing around midnight and hasn’t stopped. Yep, we often get snow in May. It will all be gone in a day or two, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I wonder how those tulips are doing.

And W has gone off to his appointment to get the summer tires put on his truck.

Gawd I love this place.

Art du Jour 46

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I’ve been missing my charcoal.  This doesn’t look much like my magazine picture model, but I’m sure she must look like somebody.  I started off on this project with the intention of drawing 365 faces.  Obviously I’ve gone off on a lot of tangents.  Now I’m just doing a count of art days and anything goes.

It was a lovely quiet Sunday here,  once W got back inside from a couple of hours of blowing snow all over the neighbourhood this morning.

I wish I was kidding. Third day of snowfall in a row.  But higher temperatures in the forecast so it will soon be gone.  I try to never complain about rain,  because at least it’s not snow.

Does this look like a young Jane Fonda to you?  It wasn’t supposed to.  What the hell.  I’ll just pretend I meant to do that.

The Snow Game of Fox and Geese

 

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This is a game of Fox and Geese, played by jungle animals, on holiday somewhere in Canada.  Montreal, maybe.  Or Sudbury.

The Rules:

1.  Tramp out a big wagon wheel shape in the snow.  This can be done with one person holding one end of a rope at the centre of the circle, and another person at the other end of the rope plodding through the deep snow while taking shouted instructions from the rest of the group waiting to play.  Or you can all just get out there and eyeball it until everyone agrees it could work.

2.  Using some random criteria, like who has the meanest looking face, choose a player to be the fox.  For this game, Zebra it is.

3.  The ostrich, monkey, giraffe, lion, hippo and elephant are all geese to start the game.

4.  The geese must run around and across the wagon wheel rim and spokes like mad things,  while the fox chases them.  All players must not take short cuts, but stay on the wheel at all times.  No face plants or snow angel breaks allowed if they can be avoided.

5.  The hub of the wheel is a safe zone where the geese may stop long enough to gasp for air, and then they have to get back to running around in a haphazard fashion.  Except always on the wheel.  Don’t forget that.

6.  If a goose (for example, the elephant) is tagged by the fox (in this case, the zebra), the elephant then becomes the new fox and the zebra is a goose.  Identity crises all around, accompanied by a lot of yelling to inform the other players, who may or may not hear you over the sound of their own laboured breathing.

7.  There are no winners or losers in this game, only enthusiastic participants who don’t mind looking like a bunch of shrieking maniacs cavorting and prancing around in a snow-covered field all afternoon.

The game ends when:

– the wagon wheel is trampled into oblivion

– the fox, unable to catch anyone, becomes frustrated and starts to cry (there is no crying in snow games – tears freeze)

– at least three faces or three sets of toes have turned blue, or some related colour to be determined by the group, because of exposure or frost bite

– the bar opens at the hotel (you’re on holiday, remember?)

– the lion gets hungry.  Time to go.

This bit of nonsense Is in response to

The Second Annual Contest of Whatever

at Evil Squirrels Nest

It’s not too late to submit a game related animal post for this contest;  deadline is Sunday morning.  And it’s never too late to get out in the snow and play a pointless snow game with your family and friends or some jungle animals on holiday.  Stupid snow should be good for something.