I Love You June!

“If a June night could talk, it would probably boast that it invented romance.” Bern Williams

Starting off in the month of June is like starting off on the first day of a holiday and knowing that there are days and days to follow just like this one.  Because all that warm sunny weather in July and August and September is still to come and winter is far, far away.  It’s also the month of the property tax bill, but I’ve already paid that just to get it over with and make the interval from now until the next one that much longer.  And the longer daylight of this month is maybe the best thing about it.  Going to work in the daylight and coming home in the daylight – wow.  Makes me feel like work is not the only thing I did while the sun was shining.

There are birds in the bird house, seeds in the bird feeder, nuts and things in that little tray for the squirrel and green leaves on the tree.  A big black crow has taken a liking to the squirrel food and the squirrel is not amused.  It can get a little noisy out there.

And speaking of noisy, I was finally able to snap a picture of my elusive magpie, hopping about on the garage roof screeching magpie expletives at me.  There’s a reason why it’s called wildlife.

Sparkly shingles are not his natural habitat, although he does spend a lot of time up there pretending to be severely pissed off.  It’s actually my roof buddy, you need to get over yourself.  And come down to the ground where I can get a decent shot of your mad little face.

Photogravure of Robert Browning, 1865, printed...
Photogravure of Robert Browning, 1865, printed c. 1893 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“And let them pass, as they will too soon,

With the bean-flowers’ boon,

And the blackbird’s tune,

And May, and June!” 

Robert Browning

Well, I’m off to flip over all the calendars.  Be still my heart.  Have a perfectly beautiful June kind of day.

My Super-Pet

I’m thinking there could be a market out there for Giant Guard Squirrels.

I’d start with some Newfoundland dog traits – big and black and a constant drooler, but excellent with children. (I have grandchildren, and I would not like to make them afraid to visit because of grandmas monster pet.)

Then I’d add the fierce independence of a cat, which does not need a human to entertain or walk it, and is too lazy to ever be serious about running away.

Finally, the quick, agile and dextrous traits of a squirrel. They are great climbers and happy to live in trees. Plus they like to gather and hide things, so if you put a big garbage bin close by, it should be easy enough to train them to clean up after themselves.

Then I’d need to build a treehouse and equip it with a huge cat bed. The tree itself would need to bear giant nut-like fruit year round; the nuts should smell like fish and taste like dog treats. I’m sure there are scientists out there with time on their hands who could come up with something.

This incredible super pet would be able to growl, drool, hiss and spit, and fire enormous nuts at intruders and solicitors. It would never want to come into the house to shed on the furniture or chew on your best shoes.

The only people it would allow on the property would be children selling those fund-raiser things for their schools or their sports teams. I have a soft spot for them. When my kids were supposed to do that I would just write a cheque for the entire box rather than have them go from door to door annoying the neighbors and then we would live on chocolate covered almonds for a month. There are worse hardships.

As long as this pet doesn’t ATTRACT kids. That’s a potential problem I suppose, until more families on the block catch on to the advantages of owning their very own Giant Guard Squirrel. Best pet EVER.

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