Yesterday was my birthday, the 13th of May. I had a brief panic attack, which surprisingly enough had nothing to do with my age. It’s all this nonsense about a thirteenth sign of the Zodiac. And a perfect example of a little knowledge being a dangerours thing. And jumping to conclusions being stupid. And stuff like that.
Turns out it’s a technically inaccurate description of Ophiuchus when it’s being called a ‘sign’ of the zodiac, although the public misconception dates back to the 1970’s and a misunderstanding about the differences between the Tropical and Sidereal Zodiacs, and the Parazodiacal Constellations. Which, when you think about it, is not that hard to imagine happening with all this astronomical gobbledegook being thrown about as if we’re all supposed to understand what the hell they’re going on about. I blame it entirely on the stars and the planets which don’t seem to remember from year to year how to keep themselves properly aligned. According to Wikipedia “the irregular astronomical demarcation of visible constellations does not relate to the separate frame of reference provided by the equally spaced twelve-fold longitude division of the ecliptic into zodiacal signs.” So we all need to calm down.
My alarm was caused by suddenly noticing a discrepancy in the dates. By the Tropical (Western) Zodiac I’m still a Taurus, but by the Sidereal (Eastern or Hindu) Zodiac and the Constellation calculations I’m Aries. Inconceivable. No offense to Aries people, but seriously, I am nothing like you. Even on the cusp, I do not share your traits.
Adventurous. Not even remotely. If you ever ask me “Where’s your sense of adventure?” your question will be met with a blank stare.
Ambitious. Huh. Not really. I strive not so much for success as for creature comforts. I am ambitiously involved in the pursit of laziness and inertia. With a less than normal level of enthusiasm.
Impulsive. Rarely. Everything I do requires thought and planning. Sometimes to the point where nothing much at all gets accomplished because the thought and planning hasn’t yet ended. Maybe it never will.
Impatient. Never. I am the most patient person on the face of the earth. I can wait you out no matter what. Let’s just wait and see what happens is always the relentless phrase in the back of my head.
Self-reliant. Well sort of, I suppose. But I’d never refuse help. And if you want to do whatever it is on your own for my benefit, that’s certainly fine with me.
Undiplomatic. Quite the opposite, actually. I will do just about anything to avoid conflict. I will knock myself out to see the other person’s point of view.
Then there are the Taurean traits which (in some cases unfortunately) describe me a whole lot better.
Stubborn. Sigh. Yes. Just because I’m diplomatically seeing your point of view and smiling and nodding like I get it, doesn’t mean I’ll ever change my mind about anything. Because I’m always right. Just ask W. And if he says no, he’s obviously lying.
Dependable. Yes, I am reliable and responsible to the point of boring everyone to tears.
Persistent. Yep, In an elephant never forgets sort of way. In for the long haul. Stick in the mud forever without end.
Materialistic and Possessive. I admit it’s true. I do like lots of things. I like lots of things to be mine. I prefer that you do not borrow my things. In fact don’t even touch them.
Affectionate. Of course. It almost goes without saying. Doesn’t all of the above make it sound like I’m just bursting with love and kindness and benevolence and magnanimity? Well, I can be sentimental and emotional. It’s the same thing, isn’t it?
What it all boils down to is the fact that I am not adventurous or impulsive enough to embrace a different zodiac with altered dates after all these years of stubbornly and persistently believing myself to be a Taurus through and through. If I ever move to India perhaps I will have to accept the Sidereal one which tells me I’m Aries, but since that’s not ever going to happen in this lifetime, I’ll just carry on and wait for the next one and then see what happens.
And if you think you might be an Ophiuchus (November 29th to December 17th) chances are you’re still a Scorpio or a Sagittarius here in the real world and some hot shot astrological buff is just pulling your chain.