Art du Jour 71

image
Can you make something beautiful out of useless advertising? Yes you can. Depending on your definitions of “useless” and “beautiful”.

Many trees died so that I could create something weird and interesting for you to look at. Even though we have put a vacation stop on our newspaper, those flyers just keep on coming. I’ve always thought it would be a great idea to put a blue box at the front door with a sign on it requesting that all junk mail be deposited in it. This would save me a lot of time and angst and energy. And all those colourful glossy Christmas ads could be used to wrap presents.

Although I have never done either of those things, now I can say I have recycled some of that great mountain of advertising into my art.

Will I be doing this with actual garbage next?  Well, probably not.  I did discover that grocery flyers are made of extremely cheap paper and ink not meant to last.  I guess that’s a good thing.

Considering my materials, I am very pleased with this end result and might even hang it up somewhere.

Vacation Stop Ends But I’m Still On Vacation

The newspaper is being delivered to my door again.  I put the longest vacation stop on it that they’d allow (even though I’m not on a REAL vacation, just an extended pretend one living alone with nobody to care about but myself), and already it’s back, and already today I’ve spent too much time flipping through it.  Practicing my sneery face of disdain because there’s never anything worth reading in there.

Except for these two things.  Yes, TWO!  I couldn’t believe it either.

Calgary’s Twitter sensation Kelly Oxford woos Hollywood

It’s not the actual article I read because I get the Edmonton Journal which reprinted theirs from the Los Angeles Times.  I think the Calgary Herald,  being closest to home should be the best source for this feel-good story.  Anyway, the facts appear to be the same.  So all of you young moms out there writing about your life experiences, take heart!  You have a huge audience that genuinely wants to hear what you have to say.  Even if it ultimately ends up being only your grown up kids who read it, searching your blog trying to pinpoint when exactly it was that you lost your sanity.

The other article in the “Arts and Life” section (stuck in amongst the Disasters and Death and Sports pages letting us know that there are idiots out there still playing hockey even though it’s nearly July)  was a picture of the reunited Beach Boys to feature their album “That’s Why God Made the Radio”.  They will be performing at the Calgary Saddledome on July 11th.  Why is Calgary having all the fun?

Those guys are OLD (-er than me, even.)  This is their first new material in 20 years.

They are still very sharp dressers.

Reliving the glory days. Good for them.

Grandma Tarot Gives Good Advice

Junon, card II of Tarot de Besançon, 1818, Str...

Junon, card II of Tarot de Besançon, 1818, Strasbourg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m subscribed to an app on facebook that sends me Tarot Card readings in my e-mail every day, and some days it’s like receiving random sage advice from an ancient relative, like my grandma, for example.  She was very free with her advice even if it didn’t make a lot of sense.  Once she told me that if I ever poked myself with a sewing needle I should make sure it was threaded so that it would be easier to pull out.  I’ve never had to heed those words of wisdom, but I’ve certainly never forgotten them either.This new substitute grandma I’ve adopted is rarely that confusing, and sometimes borders on inspirational.  Everyone could use a little stimulus and motivation in their lives.  And it’s easier to accept these words to the wise when they’re not repeated six times and followed by are you listening to me??

So here’s some excellent guidance that I’ve received in the last little while, which I can take or leave on a whim and nobody’s feelings get hurt.  In real life I tend to have very selective hearing so I’ve carried that over to the printed word and picked out only what I consider to be the good parts.

1.  Keep your attention on the positive.  (Yep, negativity can kill you.)  (I’m totally serious, it can.)

2.  Give yourself a day off if you can.  Get some rest. (I would like to take this to heart every single day for the rest of my life but if I don’t win the lottery, perhaps I’ll have to settle for every second day.)

3.  Don’t try to push things that are not important.  Don’t let minor arguments or misunderstandings get under your skin.  (Hmmph. Easy for you to say.  Hard for me to do.  So I’ll just not allow the fact that you said that to get under my skin.)

4. You just may surprise yourself with how well you do under pressure.  (Or, you just may surprise yourself with how completely you freak out and then crumble into a weeping mess.  It’s a toss up.  But try to remain positive. And get up off the floor for heavens sake.)

5.  Get out there and play like a carefree child.  You need to get out of the house and have some fun right now.  (Go away, I’m playing word games on my I-Phone.)

6.  There will be wonderful news and exciting possibilities coming your way through different forms of communication.  Information about the past will be a benefit to your future.  (Really?  Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t have cancelled the newspaper?  I must admit I was a bit miffed when they wouldn’t let me put a five month vacation stop on it.)

7. You are even hotter today than yesterday.  Unforgettable energy is pouring from your love sectors.  You will attract attention no matter where you go.  (HAHAHA!  YES!  I will be laughing so hard about that one all day that many people will begin to watch me carefully while questioning the state of my mental health.) (I will later google love sectors to find out what the hell they are.)

8.  Don’t be a stick in the mud.  (I’m not.  I’m looking up love sectors, aren’t I?)

9.  You may find that your creative talents provide an unexpected spiritual outlet.  (Huh. That would be nice.)

10.  You feel that you are being misunderstood right now by just about everybody, no matter what you say or do.  (No I don’t!  Shut up!) You are tempted to sneak quietly away and never come back. (I’m running away from home as we speak,) But will that change anything? (YES! ) Probably not. (Oh.)  Don’t give up on your dreams just yet. (Okay, fine. As if you know everything.)

Thank you adopted grandmother Tarot.  You are one smart cookie.