Day Five

Think of a time when you were completely wiped, totally exhausted, bone tired, and just plain done. Not quite dead, but really close. That was supposed to be me after working five days in a row.

But here I am, still conscious, reasonably lucid and almost pleasant to be around.  Huh.  I don’t know what happened.  I expected to be passed out hours ago, comatose and in recovery mode for my two days off.   I realize normal people work five days in a row all the time, but my four working days out of seven are broken up into small spurts with frequent home days in between, so I’m just not used to rising and shining day after day after day.

But when you’re short-staffed because some people quit and other people take vacations, these situations come up and you muddle through.  In varying states of muddle-ness.

I do know I’m tired though, because there are other clues besides falling asleep mid sentence.   When I’m over tired and can’t wind down,  I find really dumb things hilariously funny.  Like this for instance…..

imageHahahaha!  Caught poetry!  Seriously I laughed way too long at this to be considered sane.

On a completely different note, our pair of mallard ducks continue to show up out of the blue every morning and evening because apparently our backyard is a fascinating place.  Or there’s a lot more spilled birdseed out there than we realized.  They are delightful to watch.  We have also had visits from a lone Blue Jay and a Jackrabbit who is all splotchy changing from white to brown.  I feel like I’m living in an enchanted forest.  Another sure sign that I’ve been working too much.

image

Well, there.  That certainly explains many things about this particular little ramble.

I hope you all are having a fabulous weekend!  Mine has just begun.  With any luck I’ll be able to stay awake for some of it.  Maybe take some more miraculous wildlife-in-the-city pictures with my phone. Maybe we should build a duck blind! Maybe not.  I’ll sleep on that one.

Married to an Alien?

The Plinky Prompt today is wanting me to create a wild alien character for a science fiction story, complete with appearance, personality traits, quirks and life experiences.  Huge sigh.  Maybe the table topic is better?  Not really.  It says ‘what quality do you think is most important in a marriage’.

My horoscope for today tells me my mood is “annoyed”.  Wow, they got that right.

So once again I am forced (FORCED, I tell you) to combine two totally unrelated topics.  I’ve decided to write a self-help pamphlet for distribution in places like doctor’s waiting rooms where there is never anything fun to read.  Although it can be a mood booster to pick up some random piece of reading material which explains how to cope with a perfectly  horrendous condition that you’re pretty sure you don’t have.  Or didn’t even know you could  get, but you read it anyway and store the advice  somewhere deep in your head for future reference, just in case.  Which is of course what I expect you to do with the following.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUSPECT YOU HAVE UNWITTINGLY MARRIED AN ALIEN

1.  Get him his own computer.   Contacting other galaxies, or whatever it is he’s doing on there can seriously impact your virtual memory and toy with your sanity.  Think aliens are deleting your programs and messing with your hard drive?  You could be right.

2.  Take separate vacations.  Well, not ALL the time of course.  But time away from each other is incredibly therapeutic.  And who knows exactly HOW far away he gets when he’s off on his own.  Let another planet deal with his quirks for a while.

3.  Do NOT interfere when he decides to cook his own meals or do his own laundry or barbecue something for two hours, starting at 10:00 p.m.  If he brings home white bread,  just be quiet and let him eat it.  And all those plastic containers of left-overs he stores so religiously in the fridge until the contents are unrecognizable?  Don’t touch them, they could be toxic.  Maybe he’s working on a formula for rocket fuel.

4. Never criticize how he drives.  Take a tranquilizer if you have to.  Go ahead and agree with him that every other driver out there is rude, stupid, ignorant and blind.  And when he decides to stay behind a snowplow for two hours, that would be a great time to take a nap and dream about buying plane tickets.

5.  Don’t sweat the weird stuff.  Remember the time he burned the old water bed frame in your fire pit in the back yard?  That’s just one of many perfectly normal alien activities that ultimately hurts no one and is best forgotten and not explained in any great detail to the neighbors.

6.  Keep your sense of humor alive and intact.  Do not be discouraged when you find something hysterically funny and he just stares at you vacantly.  He can’t help it.  Try to love him anyway.