Promises to Keep and Reasons to Weep

Man, sometimes my titles are about a hundred times better than whatever comes next!

Someone told me today that vacations are like a bunch of weekends all strung together.  I’ve been back from my holiday for just under two weeks and already I’m longing for another stretch of strung-together weekends.  But no one wants to hear a person whine about how badly they need another holiday. So I’ll just keep that to myself and enjoy my disconnected weekends like everybody else who has no more travel plans for the summer.

There are a couple of promises I’ve made to myself, meant to improve my attitude and my life.  One is to stop saying the F word on my drive to work.  And also on my drive home from work.  And at all other times of the day or night.  Well, two out of three isn’t so bad.  Anyway, I broke this promise to myself today.  Twice I think. Maybe three times, I don’t know, I can’t keep track of what slips out of my mouth in traffic.  Whatever, tomorrow is another day.

The other promise I’ve made to myself is to avoid like the plague talking about work or anything work related here, simply because I rarely have anything pleasant to say about it.  And nobody wants to listen to whining about that either.  However…. it appears to be a day for promise breaking.guidedog

Our optical office has recently acquired one of these giant dog statues from the Canadian Guide Dogs for the Blind charity.  Notice the hole in his head for donations.  This is probably harder to walk off with than a coin box sitting on a counter, plus a lot cuter.

What I have a problem with is the “contest” that’s currently underway to “name our guide dog.” No one asked me for my opinion about this, because they’re all smart enough to know I would think it’s stupid. Which I do.  A big plastic dog doesn’t need a name.  So with no input from me they have made a big poster asking for name suggestions and promising a “prize package” for the winner.  All you have to do is write your dog name, your human name, and your phone number down on a piece of paper and drop it in the draw box.    Would it not make more sense to give out the ballots in exchange for a small donation, rather than for free?  Otherwise doesn’t it all seem just a tad pointless?  And kindergarten -ish?

It appears that no one put any thought into how the winning name is actually going to be chosen, or what the criteria is for submitting a winning entry, or even what the prize package will be.  This lack of planning is what drives me crazy. And then it turns out it’s not a random  draw at all, because now everyone (except me) has been asked to go through the ballots and choose their favourite dog name from the ones submitted, and then the draw will be out of those names only.  How is that fair?  But more importantly, why do I even care?

Well of course even though I think the whole idea is dumb I’m a little miffed that I wasn’t consulted about any of this and thus didn’t get the chance to tell everyone they’re nuts.  And when potential dog namer customers ask me what the prize is I want to tell them I have no F’ing idea.  But I’m not saying that word.

Anyway, tonight, left on my own with the ballots, I decided to go through them and choose one for the bowl of finalists.  Seriously, we have a yellow cereal bowl for the blank ballots.  Professional is a word we don’t appear to understand.  But anyway, that’s beside the point.  The point is I ended up with twelve names that I think deserve consideration.  But they won’t get it, because I like them, and I don’t take this whole thing seriously enough and I’m just making fun of everything.  All true.

Here they are, in random order:

1.  Moneydog

2.  Blindy

3.  Princess Glitter

4.  Seesaw

5.  Barky

6.  Taxicab

7.  Cat

8.  Batdog

9.  Fluffy

10.  Cheezie

11.  Melonhead

12.  Woofy

The ballot I snuck into the pile of finalists was “Seymour” because I think that one might actually have a chance.  But these other dozen?  Priceless.  All deserving of a prize package for originality if nothing else.  Perhaps I’ll suggest that we hang each of these names in turn around the plastic dogs neck at hourly intervals throughout the workday.  See, if anyone would just bother to ask, I do have some really good ideas.

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6 thoughts on “Promises to Keep and Reasons to Weep

  1. OMG, this is my favorite post of yours! Even though I am totally creeped out by the idea of dropping coins directly into a dog’s head. Couldn’t he be carrying a bucket to drop them in? Ick, ick, ick. I vote for Princess Glitter. Princess F’in Glitter!

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