Try This at Home


Despite squirting minced onion juice directly into my right eye, I am having a pretty good day.

Recipes to me are mere guidelines, and unless I’m feeling particularly sad and vulnerable and morose and unsure of myself (man, why would anyone try to create something feeling like that?) I like to wing it and see what happens.  This drives recipe following people a little nuts.  But it’s kind of exciting and God knows I don’t live dangerously in any other way whatsoever.

Anyway I have avocados which will not last forever in my fridge and decided this morning to try making avocado ranch dressing, or dip, or a combination of the two.  Does anyone actually measure avocado?  Wouldn’t a normal person just take their chances and  use a whole one?  I don’t like to measure sour cream or mayo either because they get my measuring cups all gross, so I plopped a dollop of each into the bowl with the avocado.  I left out dill because I don’t have any.  For onion salt and garlic powder I figured the real thing minced would be even better.  Except for the part where putting onion chunks through the garlic press temporarily blinded me in one eye, I think that worked out well.  Then I added apple cider vinegar instead of white.  I don’t really know why, but why not, hey?  And finally salt and pepper and dried parsley. Also not measured because things like that should be to taste.

It all got mushed up together with the immersion blender (I used to call this the Braun mixer, but apparently other companies make them too and I like this slightly more sophisticated name which makes me sound like I know what I’m doing when it comes to kitchen utensils).

Dont worry, its highly unlikely this will be turning in to a cooking blog.  It’s a stage I’m going through, that’s all.

Daughter and granddaughter are coming over for W’s famous fish and chips this afternoon.  I will be contributing a salad, OR……avocado tartar sauce maybe.  Doesn’t that sound good??

Hope neither of them reads this before they get here…

What the Monkeys are Really Saying


Judgemental little shits.

They sit on a shelf above my stove and one day just relayed these statements to me by mental telepathy, which is pretty amazing when you think about it, with me being the only one of us to have a functioning brain, as far as I know.

Meal prep was very challenging when my sister and her family were here.  They were a mix of vegan, gluten-free, no dairy, limited grains, no grain-fed meat and restricted sugar.  My sister shared all kinds of great recipes and ideas and now I’m making my own salad dressings and using honey and maple syrup instead of refined sugar.  I know it’s still sugar, but you can seriously cut the amount.

Then the next weekend when my family came for Thanksgiving it was just a breeze making stuff that everyone could safely consume.  Even though I cooked it.

Honestly, I do concoct edible things.  I don’t know why W and the monkeys are trying to mess with my culinary self-esteem. He is now very wary about what I’m up to in the kitchen and avoids as if it’s poisoned anything containing…..

1. Zucchini or other unidentifiable green things

2.  Gluten free flour or any of those expensive nut flours

3.  Nut butters which are not peanut

4. Vegetables which appear suspiciously turnip-like and often actually are turnips even though I suggest they might be parsnips, which doesn’t really help.

5.  Healthy alternatives.  He would prefer the unhealthy version, thank you very much.

Well all this is making me hungry for honey nut cheerios.  With skim milk, because that makes it perfectly okay.  Right monkeys?

I have something to say to you guys.  Please keep your opinion to yourself.  Turn around if you can’t look.  Don’t eat if it’s going to make you barf.  And leave me alone or I’m moving you all to the basement.

Art du Jour 92


Food. Drink. Sleep. Books. They are all drugs. (Fay Weldon)

It has been over six months since my last art du jour post. I’ve missed that drug.  See, I would add Netflix and Making Stuff to that list.  I admit my addiction to all of the above.

These are the coffee pictures for my daughter.  Her colours are grey and turquoise.  There is a lot of black and white in her kitchen and I know she likes purple, so fingers crossed she will be happy with these.  I am trying to be less chaotic with my creations but maybe it’s just not in me to make something calm and normal.

It’s a lazy Sunday here, perfectly gorgeous fall weather.  We went for a stroll down to the mall and back in search of rimmer spices for Caesars.  Do we have our priorities straight or what?

When we started this ‘update the look of your ’70’s house’ project I professed to not like grey.  Then I said I didn’t like turquoise and I was really done with purple.  Then I chose pelican grey for the master bedroom and both bathrooms and NOW I’m thinking turquoise and purple are really nice and maybe those should be my colour splashes in the bedroom and forget royal blue or red.

So I guess my point here is you can believe what I say today but don’t assume it will be equally true tomorrow.  I’ve made up my mind to never make up my mind.  Or some such nonsense.  Posting this now before I rethink the whole thing.

Happy autumn Sunday.

Sharing My World 62


Share Your World 2016 Week 38

Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?

I only hug back select people who get all weird and decide to hug me first. And by select people I mean close family and possibly extended family and maybe a friend or two but at the moment nobody in particular comes to mind. Random stranger hugging makes me extremely uncomfortable.  So I suppose that makes me a certified non hugger.  I prefer to comfort you and tell you I love you from across the room.

What is your least favorite Candy?

My current sugar phobia has me sworn off all things sweet and empty-caloried.  Most of it was pretty easy to give up, but perhaps especially toffee, or anything thick and chewy and capable of sucking the fillings out of your teeth.  I do miss milk chocolate, but I found some gluten free fudge bars that satisfy that craving when I’m weak enough to give in to it.  I won’t tell you how often that is because some things are private.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “fun”?

Family get-togethers with minimal hugging.  Sitting alone binge watching something on Netflix. Playing iPad games. Rearranging furniture.  Creating something, even if it’s basically useless.  Or maybe the useless part is what makes it fun.  Reading a good book.  Finding nothing but junk in the mail box, because junk is not bills.  Well, I’m pretty easily entertained, hey?

It’s also fun to be kind in a random spontaneous way when you’re out and about with a smile or a polite gesture or a helping hand.  Just don’t ruin it with hugging.  Gah.

List of Favorite Smells: What smells do you love? Whether it’s vanilla scented candles or the smell of coffee in the morning or the smell of a fresh spring rain…make a list of all the things you love for a little aromatherapy.

1.  Baby powder

2.  Sun tan lotion

3.  Cranberry Mandarin candles

4.  Clean sheets and towels dried on a clothes line on a sunny windy day.

5.  Cloves

The urge to write “coffee brewing” five times was strong.  I hope you appreciate this effort.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful to be breathing.  I look forward to keeping that going for awhile. Oh!  And Swiss Chalet!!  W is going to pick up some of that later.   Yay!  Roasted chicken is a pretty decent smell too.


Sharing My World 61



The new and improved art studio because I was not loving the first version. I like to curl up in a comfy chair to sketch and draw, and the chair was already paint spattered. Win/win.

Share Your World – 2016 Week 37

Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewelry?

There are likely rocks on our property, below ground, because I’ve never hit one with the lawn mower.  Our neighbour has some little rocks beside his fence that spill on to our side.  Are those mine now?  I let the grass grow around them and am leaving it for W to take care of with the whipper snipper apparatus from hell when he gets home. I hate that thing.  And how far below the surface does ones property actually extend?  I should ask the property tax people.  They probably have boring days which could do with some livening up.

What is your greatest strength or weakness?

The ability to zone out in a crisis.  I don’t know if that’s a strength or a weakness.  I think it could be either one.  Usually I will go into panic mode later when it’s all over.

What makes you feel grounded?

Well that’s a hard one because I’m pretty grounded most of the time.  I feel very ungrounded away from home and familiar things.  What does grounded even mean?  I’m relatively sensible and understand what’s important in life.  I’m not a teenager or an airplane.  If this was an exam question I would have just failed it spectacularly.

Would you rather never be able to eat warm food or never be able to eat cold food?

Since I am amazingly lazy in the kitchen, cold food suits me just fine.  Eating stuff right out of the fridge saves a lot of time and energy.  I’d miss hot soup though.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

W is on his way home today.  He did some galavanting en route, stopping off to visit friends.  “Galavanting” is a word my mother often used to express mild disdain for a person who wasn’t exactly grounded and went off in all directions doing dumb things.  Well, I kind of made that up, I’m not sure exactly what she meant when she talked about someone off galavanting around but it didn’t sound like she found it admirable.  W’s galavanting on the other hand is fine with me.

Anyway, wow, that was a ridiculous way to introduce the fact that I watched the tv show “Galavant” on Netflix.  It’s a musical.  Galavant is a knight.  The main reason I clicked on it was because of the word Galavant. I’m grateful I did because it was quite well done and funny.  You would not believe how crazy this little blurb is driving my spell check. It does not like the Galavant word one little bit.

I’m looking forward to the arrival of my sister and her family!  I have no idea what to feed them because they have various dietary issues!  Maybe they would all like to just eat out of my fridge!!

No, I will get my act together shortly. I have a week. W can help me.  But first he better ooh and ahh about this redecorated house before he starts complaining about where the hell I put all his stuff.


Sharing My World 60


Tap for link and take the quiz too!

Share Your World 2016 Week 36

If you were given a boat or yacht today, what would you name it? (You can always sell the yacht later)

Isn’t naming a boat a funny thing to do?  It’s like naming your lawn mower.  Of course if you had more than one it would make sense when you were having a conversation about them I suppose.  I’m going to cut the grass with Gregory today.  Xavier is out of gas.  I live far from any good place to sail a yacht and have never been a lover of boats, so yes, I would be selling this very expensive gift.  But probably not on kijiiji. People on there are mostly psycho.  I know, I’m just rambling on giving myself time to think up a good boat name.  With my luck, any boat of mine would likely sink, so I might name it “The Thelma and Louise”, because that didn’t end well.

Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you best? (Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey) Plus what would the 8th dwarf’s name be?

My first inclination with this very serious question was to choose Doc, because his personality traits are less clear than those of the others.  And nobody wants to be labeled grumpy. But just to be sure, I took a Zimbio Quiz (there are on-line quizzes for any number of bizarre things) only to discover that I am Sleepy.  Not only were the quiz creators surprised I made it to the end without dozing off, so was I.  The question about what I would do if my car broke down on the way to work where I chose “call AMA and have a nap while waiting for them to arrive” was a good indication of where I was headed.

The eighth dwarf already has a name.  Stealthy, according to “Once Upon a Time”.  A tv show with that name would never lie.  Plus I can’t make my brain come up with anything better.

Name a song or two which are included on the soundtrack to your life.

Well, because I’m so sleepy, how about “Dreams” by the Cranberries.

All my life
Is changing every day
In every possible way

In all my dreams
It’s never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems

I know I’ve felt like this before
But now I’m feeling it even more

And…..Mr Sandman, because I love the harmony.

Complete this sentence: I like watching…

The second season of Schitts Creek.  Maybe it’s my strangely Canadian sense of humour, but I find the whole thing hilariously funny.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am so grateful to my daughter for all her hard work this summer that I’m thinking I should do some work for her, maybe helping her put down a tile floor in her house.  The one I did in the bedroom was surprisingly easy.  It’s just those self stick tiles which I’ve had good luck with before and they are 18 by 18 inch squares so the whole process was quick.  Also wasn’t very expensive, always a plus. So if I spatter acrylic paint and glue all over this floor I won’t get too depressed about it.

I am looking forward to W coming home in the next couple of weeks, and then to a visit from my sister and her family, including her grandchildren the end of this month.  Hard to believe it’s been two years since we were there.  Time flies and kids grow up and change and fly away too before you know it.  Or in my case, nap through most of it.

Peace out.



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Word of the day – corybantic – frenzied; agitated; unrestrained.

My littlest grandson Corey has his agitated unrestrained moments, but underneath that he’s considerate and very loving.  A funny mix.

But the Y in this word is pronounced “uh”, not “ee”, and corybantic rhymes with “romantic”.  So don’t say you didn’t learn anything today.  Or that you wouldn’t love Corey if you met him.

My corybantic days of this long redecorating summer are drawing to an end.  The main floor is done except for a couple of light fixtures and some serious dusting.  There have been times when I would flop myself down, utterly exhausted, wondering why my shoulders ached, then think well you just moved sixteen pieces of furniture, you idiot.  I’m not always polite when I talk to myself.

The wall colour in bedroom one is called Swiss coffee.  It is not yellow, even though that’s how it appears in the photo.  More of a creamy white.  Bedroom two paint colour is called plantation tan and also not as lovely in the photo as in real life.  Since we are not familiar with plantations or what the sun on one might do to ones skin colour, we decided to rename this colour maple walnut ice cream, more in keeping with my edible colour theme.  Not sure if you would want to eat a pelican, but pelican is the name of bedroom three and the ensuite bath colour.  Nothing hung on the walls yet of the bedroom three/art area space because I can’t decide what “splash of colour” goes with pelican and cream.  Maybe blueberry?  Or raspberry?  Or some other fruit?

And that’s it!  No more painting of ceilings and walls!  I even cleaned out and reorganized my junk drawer, sorting things like screws into pointy and non-pointy ends, because nails and not nails wasn’t sufficiently specific.  So now what am I supposed to do with myself??

Happily I remembered I have a blog.  And a brand new art area chock full of misplaced and mixed up supplies, and a project, to do a couple of coffee pictures for my daughter.  And I have cupboard shelves that need cleaning and maybe painting and definitely new lining.  And things that need moving downstairs from up, and upstairs from down  and speaking of stairs, the carpet on them is awful.  And then there’s the basement, but that’s a project for another day.  Or series of months.  And the main bathroom needs renovating, which should have been done first, but too late for that.

So.  It appears I am not really done.  But it does feel like a chapter has ended.  Corybantic no more.  Until the next wave of redecorating mania hits me and sweeps me away I guess.