W has a t-shirt that says “I Drink and I Know Things”. It was gifted to him by a friend who knows him very well. If I had a shirt like that it would say “I Clean and I Find Things”. Not all that funny, but accurate as hell. Mostly what I find are forgotten lists of things I’ve jotted down so I won’t forget them. Totally useless endeavour when the list goes missing, and confusing as all get out when one turns up and makes very little sense to me in the here and now.
When I decide to clean, even if it’s something as simple as using the Swiffer duster on a shelf that the morning sun hits, illuminating a grey film that was invisible the night before and making me wonder how we can actually breathe in here, I end up rearranging things. Could be just items on a shelf, or could be all the furniture in a room. You just never know.
Twice this week I have moved stuff around in my bedroom, trying to accommodate a big old chair that’s worn out and uncomfortable and takes up too much space in the living room. It’s next move may be out the front door. The second time around for the rearranging involved moving the desk back to where it was in the first place (big sigh accompanied by eye roll) and going through its pile of miscellaneous papers which seems to accumulate even faster than the dust.
And I found a list. Yes, I know, no one at this point is surprised. It’s in a little black note-book which also contains some account numbers and passwords that are no longer valid because I’ve changed them. This is exactly the kind of thing you don’t want to leave behind after you die, unless there are people you need to seriously annoy posthumously. I have also written down my cell phone number because I have never bothered to memorize the damned thing. It’s easy enough to find on my phone, so why did I bother doing that? One mystery after another, right?
The list appears to be things you can do at our camp. Or at anyone’s cottage I guess.
- Wake up early
- Drink your coffee on the deck
- Watch the early morning mist burn off the water
- Go for a boat ride
- Paddle a canoe
- Go barefoot
- Dance in the rain
- Take pictures
- Watch the birds
- Play horseshoes
- Make an inukshuk
- Build a bonfire
- Roast marshmallows
- Watch the sunset
- Always carry a wine glass of sufficient size to knock a bear unconscious
That last one was SO worth waiting for. It’s not mine, but I don’t know who to credit for it. Someone brilliant, obviously. I would add to that one to always keep the glass topped up so you can throw wine in the bears eyes and temporarily blind him before you turn around and run like hell.
That was more fun than finding an old grocery list or a paper from a page-a-day calendar, although I found both of those as well. The calendar page says
Dont die green. Die crisp and toasty brown, well lived and well loved.
Kinda sounds like bear food, but whatever. May we all live long enough to get crispy.
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