1. It’s dark outside.
2. The roads are slippery.
3. Coffee contains caffeine.
4. I got off work at 5:00. The coffee place is across from work. It will be like driving back to WORK. Gawd.
5. Of the six people supposedly going, only one that I know of actually WANTS to be there. That would be the inviter. There appears to be a contest going on amongst the invitees to see who can come up with the best excuse to skip out.
6. I NEVER win this kind of contest.
7. There might be something good on tv.
8. We could all end up with speeding tickets in our mad rush to get the hell back home.
9. The Starbucks people will probably get seriously grouchy about having to brew a fresh pot of coffee at this bizarre time of day.
10. W will ask me why I’m doing something I don’t want to do, and I will shrug and roll my eyes and not be able to come up with a sane answer. I hate it when that happens.
What W actually wanted to know in this case was whether or not this person could make my life any more miserable than she already has if I don’t show up tonight. Well I guess I’m about to find out, because I’m not going.
If you never hear from me again, it will not be because I drank a bad cup of coffee after 8:00 p.m. So cross that one off your list of clues.