I’m subscribed to an app on facebook that sends me Tarot Card readings in my e-mail every day, and some days it’s like receiving random sage advice from an ancient relative, like my grandma, for example. She was very free with her advice even if it didn’t make a lot of sense. Once she told me that if I ever poked myself with a sewing needle I should make sure it was threaded so that it would be easier to pull out. I’ve never had to heed those words of wisdom, but I’ve certainly never forgotten them either.This new substitute grandma I’ve adopted is rarely that confusing, and sometimes borders on inspirational. Everyone could use a little stimulus and motivation in their lives. And it’s easier to accept these words to the wise when they’re not repeated six times and followed by are you listening to me??
So here’s some excellent guidance that I’ve received in the last little while, which I can take or leave on a whim and nobody’s feelings get hurt. In real life I tend to have very selective hearing so I’ve carried that over to the printed word and picked out only what I consider to be the good parts.
1. Keep your attention on the positive. (Yep, negativity can kill you.) (I’m totally serious, it can.)
2. Give yourself a day off if you can. Get some rest. (I would like to take this to heart every single day for the rest of my life but if I don’t win the lottery, perhaps I’ll have to settle for every second day.)
3. Don’t try to push things that are not important. Don’t let minor arguments or misunderstandings get under your skin. (Hmmph. Easy for you to say. Hard for me to do. So I’ll just not allow the fact that you said that to get under my skin.)
4. You just may surprise yourself with how well you do under pressure. (Or, you just may surprise yourself with how completely you freak out and then crumble into a weeping mess. It’s a toss up. But try to remain positive. And get up off the floor for heavens sake.)
5. Get out there and play like a carefree child. You need to get out of the house and have some fun right now. (Go away, I’m playing word games on my I-Phone.)
6. There will be wonderful news and exciting possibilities coming your way through different forms of communication. Information about the past will be a benefit to your future. (Really? Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t have cancelled the newspaper? I must admit I was a bit miffed when they wouldn’t let me put a five month vacation stop on it.)
7. You are even hotter today than yesterday. Unforgettable energy is pouring from your love sectors. You will attract attention no matter where you go. (HAHAHA! YES! I will be laughing so hard about that one all day that many people will begin to watch me carefully while questioning the state of my mental health.) (I will later google love sectors to find out what the hell they are.)
8. Don’t be a stick in the mud. (I’m not. I’m looking up love sectors, aren’t I?)
9. You may find that your creative talents provide an unexpected spiritual outlet. (Huh. That would be nice.)
10. You feel that you are being misunderstood right now by just about everybody, no matter what you say or do. (No I don’t! Shut up!) You are tempted to sneak quietly away and never come back. (I’m running away from home as we speak,) But will that change anything? (YES! ) Probably not. (Oh.) Don’t give up on your dreams just yet. (Okay, fine. As if you know everything.)
Thank you adopted grandmother Tarot. You are one smart cookie.